11 Painful Things.

1. Bringing back the feelings you've learned to forget.
2. Reminiscing the good times.
3. Trying to hide what you really feel.
4. Loving someone who loves another.
5. Having a commitment with someone you know wouldn't last.
6. Shielding your heart to love somebody.
7. Loving a person too much.
8. Right love at the wrong time.
9. Taking risk to fall in love again.
10. Accepting that it was never meant to be.
11. "What ifs".

Text me not.

After receiving a whole wave of complains from friends as well as strangers and admirers(?), I've finally decided to make things clear to everyone. I'm not afraid to admit, and definitely am not ashamed to say that I do not like texting.

I'm not trying to say that I despise people who text 24/7 or even while sleeping (if it's even possible), but what I'm trying to state here is that, I personally dislike doing all of those. I do not like the fact that I'd have to take my phone as a pet and bring it everywhere I go only because I'm waiting for a message or is obliged to reply in fear that the person on the other line might explode with full rage because of the unending hours of waiting for me. And this however, will turn everything ugly. Why? Because I am not one who will take in any particular person's anger without blasting back. I am not patient, sorry to say.

Also, I absolutely hate the fact that some people starts talking behind my back only because I did not reply and/or do not want to reply that particular text message of theirs. With them making things big, it doesn't do any good to neither of us because for one, it will only give me a stronger impression that you're just as immature compared to the rest and two, you will stand in an even lower level in my life. (Not that you were ever as important before though.)

And to be honest, I'm not saying that I'm completely against virtual communication, but it'd be better if we could actually have a conversation in real life rather than talking through the phone. (:

When anger strikes, leave it be.

For the past few weeks, I haven't been able to sleep well due to the amount of work load that I've been trying so hard to complete because I, as usual, procrastinated the entire time which resulted to finishing up my assignments at the very last minute. Unfortunately, I can't seem to be bothered enough to kick off this bad habit of mine. (Well, I have tried to get rid of it for countless number of times, but sadly, it is to no avail.) However, I will make this an additional resolution to this year to actually be a tad bit more progressive. Due to the numerous number of disappointments from my family, I've finally waken up to prioritize this issue.

I'm also kind of worried that I might not reach my expected target for my finals due to the fact that I haven't been quite as serious as I should be. Also, to receive the news that I did so ridiculously horrible in my SPM, it has pretty much pulled my self esteem lower. But then again, I'd never allow myself to stay in such state for long and will, of course stand up to make things better. Hopefully, there would be no more of these heartbreaking news in the future because I don't think I can take to see another moment of failure. =s

 

Even the most effective drug expires when unused, what more with the strongest feelings if ignored?

I could press rewind and rewrite every line to the story of me and you.

Find me here, speak to me
I want to feel You, I need to hear You
You are the light that's leading me
To the place where I find peace again

You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the light to my soul
You are my purpose, You're everything

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and You give me rest
You hold me in Your hands, You won't let me fall
You steal my heart, and You take my breath away
Would You take me in, take me deeper now

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?

'Cause You're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything, everything

You're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything, everything

And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?

There are two things that pierces the human heart:

1. moments we wish would last forever.
2. moments we wish had never begun.

1 more to go.

I'm finally done with my mid term, and am heading towards my finals in a month's time. And well, by the end of May, I'll prolly be done with my first semester, and will directly jump into my second semester which will only last for 2 months consisting of 3 days of classes per week. I seriously have no idea what I should be doing for the rest of the week if so I do get a credit for Malay, as it will reduce my classes to 2 days only. This is kind of depressing as I've realized that ever since my classes have started, which only lasts from 8 till 11.30 in the morning, I have been completely clueless of what to do once I reach home. Therefore, I do not know whether I should be delighted or be prepared to suffer in solitude once sem 2 starts. =s

On the brighter note, the first thing I'll do is get my license. Despite the fact that I have road trauma, and also the fear of getting involved in a serious accident, I do still want to get a legal permit to drive as it would be more convenient whenever my schedule does not meet any of my siblings' or my mother's. And as much as I hate to admit, but I am not one who is patient enough to wait for transport. Even if I am asked to finish up my work or assignment in school, I do still want to get home as soon as possible to get a good rest. Though I may procrastinate most of the time, having a license of your own is always a much better option.

Classics, but still loved.

 

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,

And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be,

Thinkin' maybe you'll come back here to the place where we'd meet,

And you'll see me waiting for you, on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving,

I'm not, moving.

You can't feel anything that your heart doesn't want to feel. I can't tell you something that ain't real, because the truth hurts but lies are worse. It's like running back through the fire, when there's noting left to save. Like chasing the very last train, when we both know it's too late.