When I think about what I've achieved throughout these 18 years, I've come to realize that unsurprisingly, I've not attained or accomplished any of the goals that I've set in the past. All the resolutions throughout those years were all a bunch of bull that I've never kept my words to actually really put my heart into trying to make it happen.
I was never a person who would keep to promises without breaking them. Even if I were to keep to that promise, it'd actually come out as incomplete and half fulfilled. Meaning to say, it'd still end up broken in the end. I was also never someone who was determined to do anything. From academics to sports, I would never be consistent as to keep it a routine. I'd either stop halfway and never continue, or never even start doing it.
It's even more depressing to know that as much as I see all these flaws on myself, my parents are seeing an even worse view of me. I cannot remember when they've labeled me as an indolent person, but all I know is that they've never put it away ever since. From being in-denial, I've slowly come to accept the fact that I'm not as diligent as I am expected to be. Maybe I am pouring salt to my wound and being a critic of my own, but I know that once I admit, I will be ready to make a difference. I will no longer sugar coat my faults and mistakes and neither will I bring my inconsistency along with me anymore.
I shall make my 18th year, the year of change. I shall turn over a new leaf.
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