Relationships.

 

Relationships.. They've never been exactly my kind of thing, or so I choose to believe. It's not the fact that I do not like the feeling of being in love, I do. I just dislike the after effect of the relationship. That moment where after it all ends, either one of the couple chooses to cut off all contacts, or the friendship wouldn't be as strong and as bonded as how it was before (If you've both started off as friends, that is). 

Now don't start with all the, "Relationship is all about taking risks", "If you never try, you'll never know" and all sorts of similar advices because I've already applied it before. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I do not believe in those. What I'm trying to state here is that, I disallow any of those to be related or to be clashed with my already convoluted life. Moreover, I wish not to let it affect my academics because I know very well that it will.

Many a times, I'm tempted by the exhilarating thrill of being IAR but usually I'll instantly snap and think, "Maybe I'm just not ready yet" or, "What if it doesn't turn out to be the way I expect it to be?" and so on. I'm unfortunately someone who'll easily let my gullible and naive other side of myself get the worse of me whenever I'm attached. Because when I do, I do not think with my mind/brain but through my instincts. It's sad to know that it is also because I've seen most of my friends go through these experiences that I do not wish to let my emphatic emotions overwhelm me once again.

In addition to that, I've promised and swore to myself that by the end of my 2 and a half years spent completing my Diploma that I will definitely make the biggest and most outrageous improvement in my entire life. Therefore, I will not "touch' Love for quite some while.